The Love Lab

Once again, Design*Sponge, you have come through for me.  I came across this diy flower lab a while ago and loved the idea of giving our reception a hint of a theme of a laboratory.  (I'm surprisingly getting really carried away with this science thing.)  Feast your eyes on this!

I think this is the bee's knees.  It's clean and beautiful and seems like it would be easy to set up yourself.  You could take it one step further and use acutual laboratory equipment instead of containers that only look like beakers and graduated cylinders.  Cute, so cute.

Yes, there is an apple fritter where my head should be. This apple fritter makes life worth living, and it is brought to you by the fine folks at Greenbush Bakery. Greenbush is this tiny bakery tucked into the corner of a strip mall, and you could blink and miss it, but it's worth a special trip. All the reviews I read about it were pretty spot on - there will be surly hipster cashiers who are rude and act like you're bothering them (except for that one guy) even though their job is to sell you donuts (whatever, hipsters), and the donuts will change your life! This is totally true. Apple fritter aside, the boston creams are filled with some of the most velvety, rich, thick custard I've ever had in a donut. This place is no joke. People go out of their way to stop at Greenbush when they drive by Madison from out of state.

This is the kind of local awesomeness I hope to expose everyone to during our future wedding weekend. They would be great as part of a dessert buffet, or a breakfast or brunch. Or, if I'm really honest, just because you have an unchecked need for sugar. I'm sure you can get great apple fritters in your town, but are they as big as your face? Are they locally famous? They may be, but each place does it a little differntly, and that's what's so great about regional flavor. It's specific to your town, your life, and is part of what makes it great. It's so much fun to share these kinds of finds with people and watch their reactions.

Wait, I just had a brilliant thought. Greenbush is close to the zoo, which is free. Grabbing an epic donut and spending the afternoon at a cute, free zoo in a beautiful neighborhood would be a great event for wedding weekend! It costs next to nothing and it's great for children of all ages. Yes! One more idea for the list. For now, I'll just leave you with this...

Father-Daughter Dunk?

As I was thinking about ways to personalize my wedding I thought about the father-daughter dance. It just doesn't feel right for my dad and I because we don't dance together. Plus, the first dance songs tend to come off as more incestuous than sweet. You all know you've heard one. We could, of course, but I have other great memories from childhood. Like Basketball!!!

I spent many weekends with my dad at the park learning how to shoot, so what better way to honor him? See dad, I still got my skills! (Actually I don't. Andrew and I shoot hoops in the gym sometimes, and he kicks my ass evey time. The other guys make fun of me, "Trying out for the WNBA, huh?") I may not be as accurate, but I still have the correct form at least, and that's what he worked so hard to teach me. Having a dad who took the time to teach me and share something he loves with me seems to be a somewhat rare thing, and I am so thankful he did that for me. I think this would be a great option for us instead of a dance and WAY more fun. I don't know his feelings about it, and I kind of hope he doesn't read this and this post gives it away, but I think it would be so much more personal, more us. It would make the "first" about something we truly share rather than simply doing what is expected by the wedding world. Plus, the idea of swaying back and forth for 3 minutes isn't appealing AT ALL. Now, to find a venue with a basketball hoop!

Pictures from Flickr and RussellMartinPhotography.com respectively. How much do you love that bride playing b-ball with her ladies?!

Elopement Daydream

Oh dear readers, I've been thinking about eloping. Again. In fact, that was the first thing we though about. Wouldn't it be great to get married here?

Right on the beach. Sugar white sand, aqua water, and the sea breeze in your hair. Is there anything better? We've talked about eloping, but have sort of decided that our families would be left out. That's not something I want to do because it's about our families too as much as it's about us. I keep thinking about how great it will be to have both our families and friends in our town for a weekend for a giant fun reunion..oh yeah, and there will be a wedding somewhere in there to interrupt the fun. I want to throw a party for my family and friends. I want the ones I love to witness our marriage. But sometimes I want to run away to a tropical island and do the damn thing already! I want to avoid the stress of planning. I'm already not a big fan of large-scale party planning, but maybe i'll feel differently when I'm working on mine. Mostly I'm secretly afraid no one will come.

I've tried to plan get-togethers my whole life and they always fall through. It's so consistent it's like a bad joke. If I plan something, nobody comes or they back out at the last minute. Now, I'm a fun, party loving gal but this is rediculous. I'm afraid, deep down in my heart of hearts, that I will put all this energy into planning and no one will show up because that's what happens to me. Of course I know someone will come. My rational brain knows that having 0 people turn up is highly unlikely as there are people who love us too much to miss it. I am so grateful for that...but still. I have a record.

Marriage Equity

We had the discussion about a week ago. The question that this article got me pondering: should we get married and take advantage of the privileges of being married while it is illegal for gay people to? I'm still not totally sure how I feel. I can see the position on both sides. Andrew reacted with more intensity than I thought. Apparently he'd been thinking about it too.
It forced us to talk about the why's we haven't discussed yet. Why do we want to get married? Why would we not get married? Okay, so, the reasons to get married included the fact that it makes so many things easier (insurance, purchasing big things like a house I would imagine), it's the next step to take in our relationship since we've decided to spend out lives together (yay!), and we want to be committed to each other. I'm leaving out the obvious crazy in love part. Reasons not to get married include the fact that our friends can't. Not everyone who loves is allowed to marry, and that is something about the state of our country that we should all be ashamed of. This presents a serious reason not to get married. We then have to ask ourselves if by getting married we are supporting an unjust system, or if it makes more sense to change it from within.
Addy Fox, who wrote the above article, has decided not to get married for the obvious ethical implications, and I think that is a really valid reason. There is always some value in protest, even if it's not something the world gets to see. Her family and friends will know that she's not getting married, they'll know why, and that's enough. I'm really grateful she acknowledges that this may feel like an empty gesture for some people, but presents her decison as her decision. it's not right for everyone, but it works for her. To be honest, for me it does feel like somewhat of an empty gesture. Here's a short play illustrating what this might look like:

ME: I think that the state of marriage equity in this country is disgusting.
GAY COMMUNITY: Okay, me too.
M: I want to do something about it.
GC: Great! Where are you going to start?
M: I'm not getting married!
GC: .......
M: You're welcome, gay community!

I'm just not sure if I would feel like I'm actually doing anything that would help somebody. To me it would seem more effective to make a donation to LAMBDA legal or something. Maybe gay people really do appreciate it when straight couples don't get married out of protest. I don't know. I don't know if this is ultimately the road we're going to go down. All I know is that it warrants serious consideration.

Questions To Consider

Here are some things to think about for the future.

1) Andrew wanted to have the wedding on the Winter Solstice because it's the longest night of the year; hence, the longest party in theory. Is it cruel to hold a wedding in the dead of winter? Initially I said yes, but then I think about weddings I've been to in the dead of summer that are excruciating because I hate the heat. Some people hate the cold. I suppose it depends on which extreme you revile the most...personal preference and all that. Travel could be an issue, but it could be totally fun (and much cheaper)!

2) Attendants. I liked being one. I understand the desire to honor special people in your life. I still feel like it's more trouble than it's worth. I'd like to find other ways to honor my buddies and avoid having to choose certain people over others. I'm still thinking about it.

3) I want a fun cake too! Andrew has an idea for his groom's cake that's very him and I want one too! I don't want tiers with pillars and sugar flowers. At a wedding show I saw a cake from Craig's Cake Shop in Verona that was a stump with the bride and groom's initials "carved" into the bark icing. How cute is that? It looks awesome too...very realistic.

More on this story as it develops...

My Dress

Here it is! Way more bridal than I thought I would end up with, but so much fun to wear. I want it 100% payed off and in my closet so I can start pondering alterations! I thought about trying to make it more sweetheart, but the beads already give you that illusion. I love the ruched wrapping on top and the asymmetrical way it ends. Love, love.