Sometimes I Hate The Knot!

So here I am, browsing on the internet like you do, and what should I find on the knot? You're either intrigued or groaning and eye-rolling right now. I must admit I did a little of both. I find this little gem:

"No party's complete without a photo booth!"

This is the look I'm giving The Knot right now.

GAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! What did I just say, The Knot?! What did I just say a couple days ago?!! The photo booth is not mandatory! Actually, there are plenty of parites that are more than complete without a photo booth! Before the photo booth concept was ever invented parties existed, and I'm pretty sure the party throwers were completely satisfied with their outcomes.
I didn't really want a photo booth anyway, but now I'm just doing it out of spite. Screw you, The Knot. My party will be complete and fun, and it will not involve a photo booth.

Institutionalized Wedding "Fun"

I was recently talking to an aquaintance who is planning his wedding and he was going over the laundry list of everything they had gotten done. "The invites are in the mail, she got her dress, I rented my tux...and oh yeah, we booked a photobooth," he said without any trace of excitement. Not only was there not excitement, but it sounded like one more obligation in a long list of things you need to have at your wedding. I realized that the photobooth is the latest "must-have" at weddings. I don't know how it happened, but it did. The first time I remember hearing about it was at Christian Aguillera's wedding, and it was a really cool idea! It was something no one had seen before...and then it became a trend. Everyone had the photobooth for a while, and now it has somehow transcended from trend to obligatory "fun" wedding staple.

Once you feel like you have to have something in order to show the world that your wedding was "fun" you're not being true to yourself anymore. Photobooths are inherantly cute, but if it's just something else you feel like you have to book because the wedding world is telling you that it will make your reception fun or you feel like your guests expect it, then it's probably time to think about what you really want. If a photobooth is not your personal idea of fun pick something that is! You've probably already hired a photographer, so what about something that isn't photography oriented? I'm just throwing it out there. Catch it if you want. Throw it back if you hate it.

Anyway, there are a few cool looking photobooth rental companies in Madison that are a little different than your traditional booth. Eventworks has some cool additonal options, like projecting pictures as they are taken onto a screen or wall. The Traveling Photo Booth has a lot of cool features (open back to fit more people, quality light, etc) while maintaining that vintage feel of the old photobooth. Their website is really modern looking and fun to poke around even if you're not considering a photobooth (like me). I'm sure there are more resources, but those are the few that I found.

Weddings are Tree Killers

Photo via Regretsy.com

So, clearly I have a bias against stationary. It is very pretty and can help set the tone of the wedding, but I personally feel like Big Paper is cashing in on the purported need for menus, programs, the complicated package of 5 cards you get with every wedding invitation, seating arrangement cards (I don't even know what they're called), and all the other paper crap we are made to think we need because it's tradition. I hate thinking of all that wasted paper that will end up in a landfill.

One cool option that's been around for a while are those invitations made with seeds in the paper. Stick it in the ground to reduce, reuse, and recycle. I will be looking for ways to reduce the amount of paper I use, and probably investing in a wedding website of some sort to use for RSVP's.

Reality Check

One of the many things I love about our relationship is that Andrew and I call each other on our bullshit...in a very safe and loving way, of course. Case in point:
As we were developing a food shopping list yesterday, I added that we needed to go to the mall and get shampoo. Expensive, salon brand, herbal shampoo that we've been indulging in with our extra funds. He gave me that you've got to be kidding look (everybody's significant other has one) and reminded me that I was just saying that we need to cut back because I just started grad school, and he hopes to start in a little over a year. I didn't like to be reminded of this, but he's absolutely right.
This is a tiny example, but we both routinely serve as a reality check for the other. We keep each other honest and on track. We help remind each other what's important (school, not shampoo), and I think this bodes well for the time when we do get down to the nitty gritty of wedding planning. It's easy to get carried away if you don't have something or someone to ground you. Should I spend $1.00 extra per invitation for the cooler paper? Do we have enough flowers for lush centerpieces? Whatever the issue becomes, one of us will always be there to tell the other who cares. I'm also confident that this will help us achieve a happy and successful marriage. We each feel safe confronting the other with a dissenting opinion, but it's always done in a caring way. It's never used as an excuse to attack or put down the other person. This is a small way in which I'm reminded that I have found the best person for me.

Pieces of Crap

My friend recently sent me the February issue of Brides magazine for fun (thanks Emilie). Inside the 414 pages is a section called 72 Tips For A Perfect Day in which the experts give you, the bride searching for perfection, ideas to make your wedding its best. Here are some of the tips I find problematic:

1) Bring two pairs of shoes: one for the ceremony, the other to put in the reception site's freezer. When your feet start hurting, slip on the second pair to feel instantly refreshed--trust me! -Nancy Williams, Carolina Herrera

Okay, what?! Who does that? I'm sure it would literally be refreshing, but can you imagine suffering through a pair of shoes so uncomfortable that you need to stash another pair in the freezer? What kind of advice is that? Hey, how about instead of buying two pairs of shoes and remembering to take one out of the freezer(!), just get one pair that is comfortable and break them in. I don't trust you, Nancy.

2) Plan for each stage of the party to last between 60 and 90 minutes and to flow effortlessly into the next--cocktails to dinner, dinner to dancing, etc. -Peter Callahan, Callahan Catering

While this is not the worst advice, I find it problematic. I am a planner and a bit of a perfectionist, and no one likes an awkward transition, but there is a lot to be said for allowing things to flow and happen on their own. Do you want your schedule to be so rigidly planned that you're checking the clock every 90 minutes to make sure your transitions are occurring correctly? Didn't think so. It makes sense that this piece of advice is coming from a caterer since they are on a more strict time schedule, but I wouldn't go crazy with it.

3) Coordinate floral designs with the wedding's setting and season. It's jarring to see sunflowers at a winter wedding. -Monica Hirsch

This advice makes sense mostly because it is cheaper and more environmentally responsible to buy flowers in season, but just saying that it is "jarring" to see a sunflower in winter is not a good enough reason not too use what you love, or what represents you and your intended as a couple. If anyone comes to your reception and says, "This wedding is beautiful and the couple is so in love, but damn these flowers are jarring," they don't deserve to be there. What if you really wanted to have a Caribbean destination wedding, but it just wasn't in the cards? And we know that winter is the off-season when things are cheaper. I think it would be refreshing to have a tropical inspired wedding in the winter. It would be like a mini-vacation.

4) The bar is a high-traffic area, so make sure it looks beautiful. -Alex Holzer, The Jefferson Hotel

Who cares? It won't matter once people start drinking anyway and everything is a little blurry around the edges. You know what makes great bar decor? A tip jar for the hard-working people in the service industry. Next tidbit...

5) So many brides tell me they didn't sleep a wink the night before, but it's not called "beauty sleep" for nothing. Talk to your doctor about a sleep aid or learn some relaxation techniques. -Liz Banfield

This is when I dropped the magazine and ran screaming into the night. Yes doctor, please prescribe me a semi-addictive sleep aid that I do not need because I MUST BE PRETTY! Fix my life with a pill. It's not like the makeup I'm putting on later will cover those dark circles. This may be the worst thing in this article besides the freezer shoes. Has anyone gotten caught up in bad wedding advice?

Wedding at Isthmus Green Day

There is apparently going to be a green wedding on Saturday, April 17th during Isthmus Green Day at the lovely Monona Terrace. There are a whole slew of green businesses contributing to Kelly and Mike's wedding to make it as sustainable as possible. Check it out here. This got me thinking about ways to make our wedding more environmentally friendly. It's something I think about but haven't actively investigated yet. I think our natural propensity to simplify and get rid of crap we don't like is going to help a lot with that. Online RSVP's are something I am psyched about...no money wasted on postage and extra stationary. The same goes for menus. I cannot for the life of me understand printing menus. I see no reason to waste money and resources by telling people what they're going to eat ten minutes before they eat it! Choosing a location that is Travel Green Wisconsin certified would also be a good start. Buying a pre-loved dress contributes to eco- and wallet friendliness. A fabulous resource for green wedding ideas is 2000 Dollar Wedding. Sara and Matt made their wedding's environmental impact one of their top priorities, and their ideas are many and varied. What have you done to make your wedding more green?